Chapter 36

If Elizabeth, when Mr. Darcy gave her the letter, did not expect it to contain a renewal of his offers, she had formed no expectation at all of its contents. But such as they were, it may well be supposed how eagerly she went through them, and what a contrariety of emotion they excited. Her feelings as she read were scarcely to be defined. With amazement did she first understand that he believed any apology to be in his power; and steadfastly was she persuaded, that he could have no explanation to give, which a just sense of shame would not conceal. With a strong prejudice against everything he might say, she began his account of what had happened at Netherfield. She read with an eagerness which hardly left her power of comprehension, and from impatience of knowing what the next sentence might bring, was incapable of attending to the sense of the one before her eyes. His belief of her sister's insensibility she instantly resolved to be false; and his account of the real, the worst objections to the match, made her too angry to have any wish of doing him justice. He expressed no regret for what he had done which satisfied her; his style was not penitent, but haughty. It was all pride and insolence.

(Helen Kang- "You're Not Sorry" by Taylor Swift. In the previous part, Elizabeth read a letter from Mr. Darcy about his apology of all his actions. However, her reaction to the letter is cold and says: "his style was not penitent, but haughty. It was all pride and insolence." Just like in the song, "And you can tell me that you're sorry, But I don't believe you.. You're not sorry," Elizabeth doesn't believe that Mr. Darcy is truly apologizing.)Wickham

But when this subject was succeeded by his account of Mr. Wickham—when she read with somewhat clearer attention a relation of events which, if true, must overthrow every cherished opinion of his worth, and which bore so alarming an affinity to his own history of himself—her feelings were yet more acutely painful and more difficult of definition. Astonishment, apprehension, and even horror, oppressed her. She wished to discredit it entirely, repeatedly exclaiming, "This must be false! This cannot be! This must be the grossest falsehood!"—and when she had gone through the whole letter, though scarcely knowing anything of the last page or two, put it hastily away, protesting that she would not regard it, that she would never look in it again.
In this perturbed state of mind, with thoughts that could rest on nothing, she walked on; but it would not do; in half a minute the letter was unfolded again, and collecting herself as well as she could, she again began the mortifying perusal of all that related to Wickham, and commanded herself so far as to examine the meaning of every sentence. The account of his connection with the Pemberley family was exactly what he had related himself; and the kindness of the late Mr. Darcy, though she had not before known its extent, agreed equally well with his own words. So far each recital confirmed the other; but when she came to the will, the difference was great. What Wickham had said of the living was fresh in her memory, and as she recalled his very words, it was impossible not to feel that there was gross duplicity on one side or the other; and, for a few moments, she flattered herself that her wishes did not err. But when she read and re-read with the closest attention, the particulars immediately following of Wickham's resigning all pretensions to the living, of his receiving in lieu so considerable a sum as three thousand pounds, again was she forced to hesitate. She put down the letter, weighed every circumstance with what she meant to be impartiality—deliberated on the probability of each statement—but with little success. On both sides it was only assertion. Again she read on; but every line proved more clearly that the affair, which she had believed it impossible that any contrivance could so represent as to render Mr. Darcy's conduct in it less than infamous, was capable of a turn which must make him entirely blameless throughout the whole.
The extravagance and general profligacy which he scrupled not to lay at Mr. Wickham's charge, exceedingly shocked her; the more so, as she could bring no proof of its injustice. She had never heard of him before his entrance into the ——shire Militia, in which he had engaged at the persuasion of the young man who, on meeting him accidentally in town, had there renewed a slight acquaintance. Of his former way of life nothing had been known in Hertfordshire but what he told himself. As to his real character, had information been in her power, she had never felt a wish of inquiring. His countenance, voice, and manner had established him at once in the possession of every virtue.
kumaori.jpg[Sarah Hwang - this picture shows how Elizabeth has been decieved by
Mr. Wickham. The birds on the sunlight seem beautiful but the truth is they are crows when they are at usual states. This applies the same to Mr. Wickham has his outer perspective was very deceiving to Elizabeth, and made her fall for to believe that he was trustworthy.]


Search and Download More Music Free

(Joodi Son- The lyrics of this song are: "To think I'm so naive; How dare you play with me?... What were you thinkin' when you lost my trust?
You had it all and now you're left with nothin'" We can see that although Lizzy wasn't in love with Wickham or anything she trusted him and saw him as an honest man but after this letter from Darcy, the trust was lost.)


She tried to recollect some instance of goodness, some distinguished trait of integrity or benevolence, that might rescue him from the attacks of Mr. Darcy; or at least, by the predominance of virtue, atone for those casual errors under which she would endeavour to class what Mr. Darcy had described as the idleness and vice of many years' continuance. But no such recollection befriended her. She could see him instantly before her, in every charm of air and address; but she could remember no more substantial good than the general approbation of the neighbourhood, and the regard which his social powers had gained him in the mess. After pausing on this point a considerable while, she once more continued to read. But, alas! the story which followed, of his designs on Miss Darcy, received some confirmation from what had passed between Colonel Fitzwilliam and herself only the morning before; and at last she was referred for the truth of every particular to Colonel Fitzwilliam himself—from whom she had previously received the information of his near concern in all his cousin's affairs, and whose character she had no reason to question. At one time she had almost resolved on applying to him, but the idea was checked by the awkwardness of the application, and at length wholly banished by the conviction that Mr. Darcy would never have hazarded such a proposal, if he had not been well assured of his cousin's corroboration.
She perfectly remembered everything that had passed in conversation between Wickham and herself, in their first evening at Mr. Phillips's. Many of his expressions were still fresh in her memory. She was now struck with the impropriety of such communications to a stranger, and wondered it had escaped her before. She saw the indelicacy of putting himself forward as he had done, and the inconsistency of his professions with his conduct. She remembered that he had boasted of having no fear of seeing Mr. Darcy—that Mr. Darcy might leave the country, but that he should stand his ground; yet he had avoided the Netherfield ball the very next week. She remembered also that, till the Netherfield family had quitted the country, he had told his story to no one but herself; but that after their removal it had been everywhere discussed; that he had then no reserves, no scruples in sinking Mr. Darcy's character, though he had assured her that respect for the father would always prevent his exposing the son.
How differently did everything now appear in which he was concerned! His attentions to Miss King were now the consequence of views solely and hatefully mercenary; and the mediocrity of her fortune proved no longer the moderation of his wishes, but his eagerness to grasp at anything. His behaviour to herself could now have had no tolerable motive; he had either been deceived with regard to her fortune, or had been gratifying his vanity by encouraging the preference which she believed she had most incautiously shown. Every lingering struggle in his favour grew fainter and fainter; and in farther justification of Mr. Darcy, she could not but allow that Mr. Bingley, when questioned by Jane, had long ago asserted his blamelessness in the affair; that proud and repulsive as were his manners, she had never, in the whole course of their acquaintance—an acquaintance which had latterly brought them much together, and given her a sort of intimacy with his ways—seen anything that betrayed him to be unprincipled or unjust—anything that spoke him of irreligious or immoral habits; that among his own connections he was esteemed and valued—that even Wickham had allowed him merit as a brother, and that she had often heard him speak so affectionately of his sister as to prove him capable of some amiable feeling; that had his actions been what Mr. Wickham represented them, so gross a violation of everything right could hardly have been concealed from the world; and that friendship between a person capable of it, and such an amiable man as Mr. Bingley, was incomprehensible.

waves.png
(Lydia Ahn-This picture of the waves symbolizes Elizabeth's personality. She is easily swayed and persuaded by others. For example, in this section, when Darcy explains Wickham's truth, Elizabeth suddenly thinks thats she shouldn't have trusted him in the first place. She sides more with Darcy simply after talking to him. A wave goes back and forth, just like Elizabeth's emotions. She doesn't have her own distinct viewpoint and listens to what others say. )

She grew absolutely ashamed of herself. Of neither Darcy nor Wickham could she think without feeling she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.

Sarah Cho (song)
I Was Wrong - Social Distortion

After Elizabeth learned about Mr. Wickham and how she judged Mr. Darcy in a completely wrong way, she did not know what to do or what to think. She was confused with what she had done until now, and how to take care of this situation. This song, I Was Wrong, shows exactly how Elizabeth was feeling about Mr. Wickham and Mr. Darcy. She believes that she might have hurt Mr. Darcy by saying all the things when he proposed to her as well. The lyrics " Well I'm sorry that I hurt them, Did I hurt you too?" and "I was wrong I realize now that I was wrong" shows the exact feeling of Elizabeth.

"How despicably I have acted!" she cried; "I, who have prided myself on my discernment! I, who have valued myself on my abilities! who have often disdained the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity in useless or blameable mistrust! How humiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind! But vanity, not love, has been my folly. Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself."
Rush - Emotion Detector - Demo .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine

<Hajung Kim- The song lyrics explain how things go "Right to the heart of the matter" which is what Darcy's letter does and Elizabeth realizes this when she finishes reading. Darcy directly expresses everything in truthful way which helps Elizabeth to confirm the events that she has questioned previously. Also, as the lyric mentions, "Right where discovery starts" which fits the situation that Elizabeth is in. After reading Darcy's letter is when she starts to learn about everything starting from Bingley's departure, Wickham, and etc.>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OhI1EhAQWI
My Confession by Josh Groban
(Nana Park- Elizabeth realized how she was ignorant and blinded. The song also talks about how the artist was unwilling to see the love. Just like how the artist was blinded, Elizabeth was also unwilling to see her love toward Mr. Darcy. This song well portrays the turning point of her love life.)

From herself to Jane—from Jane to Bingley, her thoughts were in a line which soon brought to her recollection that Mr. Darcy's explanation there had appeared very insufficient, and she read it again. Widely different was the effect of a second perusal. How could she deny that credit to his assertions in one instance, which she had been obliged to give in the other? He declared himself to be totally unsuspicious of her sister's attachment; and she could not help remembering what Charlotte's opinion had always been. Neither could she deny the justice of his description of Jane. She felt that Jane's feelings, though fervent, were little displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in her air and manner not often united with great sensibility.
When she came to that part of the letter in which her family were mentioned in terms of such mortifying, yet merited reproach, her sense of shame was severe. The justice of the charge struck her too forcibly for denial, and the circumstances to which he particularly alluded as having passed at the Netherfield ball, and as confirming all his first disapprobation, could not have made a stronger impression on his mind than on hers.
The compliment to herself and her sister was not unfelt. It soothed, but it could not console her for the contempt which had thus been self-attracted by the rest of her family; and as she considered that Jane's disappointment had in fact been the work of her nearest relations, and reflected how materially the credit of both must be hurt by such impropriety of conduct, she felt depressed beyond anything she had ever known before.
After wandering along the lane for two hours, giving way to every variety of thought—re-considering events, determining probabilities, and reconciling herself, as well as she could, to a change so sudden and so important, fatigue, and a recollection of her long absence, made her at length return home; and she entered the house with the wish of appearing cheerful as usual, and the resolution of repressing such reflections as must make her unfit for conversation.
She was immediately told that the two gentlemen from Rosings had each called during her absence; Mr. Darcy, only for a few minutes, to take leave—but that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been sitting with them at least an hour, hoping for her return, and almost resolving to walk after her till she could be found. Elizabeth could but just affect concern in missing him; she really rejoiced at it. Colonel Fitzwilliam was no longer an object; she could think only of her letter.

(Kristie Lee- Hot N' Cold by Katy Perry
The song Hot N' Cold talks about one's fluctuations in emotions/thoughts/state of mind. Just like the lyrics of this song, Elizabeth's feelings towards Darcy also begins to fluctuate after she reads the letter from Darcy, explaining and apologizing for his actions that had hurt Elizabeth.)
i'm_sorry.jpg


(Samuel Yang - This picture demonstrates Mr. Darcy's desire to be forgiven by Lizzie as well as desire to tell the truth that he didn't want to hurt her feelings. "I'm sorry", written on the picture letter, proves that Mr. Darcy cares about Lizzie, which simply show that he loves Lizzie and wants to have a good relationship with her.)


(Mingoo Park - In this chapter, Mr.Darcey gives his letter to Lizzie saying that what he did was not to hurt Lizzie and he is sorry. This song well describes how Mr.Darcey feels towards Lizzie. He is telling her the truth.)


(Jin Kwon: After Darcy gives Elizabeth the letter that reveals the truth behind his motives concerning the break up between Jane and Mr. Bingley, Elizabeth begins to realize that Darcy was simply caring for his friend. Elizabeth feels that she was wrong to judge him so quickly and begins to view him in a brighter light. Eventually the letter is the only thing Elizabeth can think about thus sparking her emotions for him. The song by Coldplay is an excellent way to describe the sudden influx of feelings that she has for him after finally learning the truth behind Darcy and his honest character.)

Chapter 37